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Your Bridal Party: How To Choose Bridesmaids and Delegate Duties

  |  By Diana Petrina

Don't let choosing who to include in your bridal party become a headache. Some brides have a lot of family and friends while some brides have less. Here are a few tips about etiquette when asking your special ladies:

  • Don’t feel obligated to ask someone just because they asked you. It’s your day now—if the feelings aren’t mutual, you may want to pass on this maiden. Can’t imagine yourself being wed without her by your side? She’s a keeper!
  • Even though you became really close friends with the mail girl at work, doesn’t mean she’s bridesmaid quality. Ask girls that share memories with you, and that you plan on making many more with.
  • To ask or not to ask—the groom’s side! If your circle of family and friends is stacked, you may have to opt out of asking girls related to your man. However, definitely ask his sister, niece or cousin before your long-lost college roommate.
  • The selection of MOH is pretty simple; a sister, close relative or close friend will be your best bet. Blessed with lots of sisters? Try the rotation solution, that way every maid is honoured at least once.

In terms of delegating bridal party duties, here's a primer to help you understand who is traditionally responsible for what:

Maid of Honour

  • Helps the bride with a variety of important tasks like dress shopping, addressing the invitations, organizing the seating chart, holding the groom’s ring and bride’s bouquet during the ceremony, and even lending an ear during a potential vent session!
  • Keeps the bridesmaids updated regarding timelines, dress fittings, and all of the events leading up to and including the wedding (showers, bachelorette parties, etc.).
  • Overall, the bride chooses her MOH for a reason: she wants and values her opinion and needs her assistance throughout the whole process.


  • Pays for her own dress, hair and makeup for the day of, as well as giving a gift or contributing to a group gift.
  • Participates in activities such as greeting guests in the receiving line and the bouquet toss (if she’s single).
  • Attends all of the events, pre- and post-wedding day (rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, day-after luncheon).
  • If your maids are up to the task, ask them to help you with cost-saving ideas that could benefit them in the process. Have them browse online for things like their dresses and DIY decor projects!
  • Invite your bridesmaids to bridal shows for the optimal amount of brainstorming. The endless amount of vendors under one roof is sure to stimulate their wedding senses.

Flower Girl

  • First and foremost, your flower girl’s main role is to charm the crowd!
  • Traditionally, the little darling would wear a mini-version of the bride’s dress. More recently, flower girls are showing up in tiny numbers accented with shades from the wedding’s theme.
  • If your flower girl loves the spotlight, give her the duty of saying a few words before dinner—either a prayer or a simple poem would add an adorable touch!

Mother of the Bride

  • The mother of the bride’s duties on your wedding day are quite similar to those on any other day—to ensure you are making smart decisions that make you happy.
  • Your mom pretty much completes your wedding entourage. You, your MOH and mom should do a lot of the planning together from dress shopping to searching for the perfect favours.
  • Perhaps let your mother be in charge of your extended guest list. Only you know which of your pals get an invite, but mom can step in for aunts and uncles you never knew you had or out-of-town relatives.

Mother of the Groom

  • The groom’s mom won’t have as vital of a role as your mom but she’s usually there to help as much as you need without intruding.
  • Try to keep the mother of the groom involved by bringing her along to taste tests for the shower and wedding menus and even the wedding cake.
  • She co-hosts the rehearsal dinner, traditionally held by the parents of the groom.

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