For some couples who are soon to tie the knot, a monetary contribution to their future together is a welcome gift. As couples find themselves getting their own homes or move in with their partners prior to actually getting married, receiving cash gifts would really be a big help to jumpstart this new chapter of their lives together. But there is a particular etiquette to follow when it comes to this request. As a wedding planner, this is the advice I give my clients when the topic is finally brought up:
- Do not include the request on your wedding invites. A golden rule I’ve always told my previous clients and will tell my current clients is to NEVER, I repeat, never ever include or mention requests for monetary gifts s on your wedding invitation. Not only is it super tacky, rude and not fully welcoming but it also goes against one of the most important rules of wedding etiquette. This will throw your guests off and will kill the fun wedding vibe, long before your big day even happens.
- Do a cash registry. Cash registries started gaining traction and popularity in the U.S. and are now readily available in Canada as well. So Canadian brides and grooms-to-be, you have the option to register on Gift Spaces and Zank You. These two sites are extremely user-friendly and gives you the flexibility of depositing your guest contributions directly into your bank accounts. Some people may find still this new practice a bit unsettling, but having a cash registry breaks the awkward feelings of being direct and obvious with asking for cash gifts.
- Make the news known to your guests—in a subtle way. Feeling like the no-gift-registry plan isn’t working? Ask your families and wedding party to spread the word. Guests are highly likely going to ask parents, siblings, bridal party and whoever else is close to you and find out what it is you need for your wedding. They’ll happily answer with “monetary gifts” and this is the
absolute preferred way to get the word out there—without your guests ever getting offended.
When it comes down to it all, do not ever demand for cash from your guests. Give them the flexibility to be able to gift you what their hearts will be happy to give. As much as you and your fiancé would like to receive cash gifts, be mindful that not all your guests will be able to fulfill that expectation. You will find that there will be a few that will stick to old traditions and would rather give you a beautiful material gift—and that’s okay, too! After all, you are there to celebrate with your loved ones—a once-in-a-lifetime celebration that no amount of money will ever be able to replace.
Aussie Marie Ho is the founder, principal planner and creative director of An Elegant Soirée.